Walking in the Other Person’s Shoes

Empathy is an interpersonal relationship skill. Like any skill, it does require practice. Practice a dialog in advance then when the situation arises, you’ll know what to say. Here are some tips on how to show empathy. Really listen to what the other person is saying so put down the book or turn off the TV. When there are less distractions, you can focus better.

Body language is 75 percent of community, so use it to convey that you care. Stand in a close, but not too close, proximity, maintain good eye contact, and don’t fidget. Think about what the other person has said before you speak. If you say something that shows you really don’t care, you can impair the relationship you have with the person. However, when you say, “I see this is hard for you to talk about” or “I’m sorry you lost your job,” then you show that you care. This in turn will improve your relationship.

When you agree with the person, you are showing that you believe him/her. When you say, “I don‘t know how you can survive this“ or “What are you going to do now?,” you are sounding very insensitive. However, when you say, “I understand why you would be upset” or “Anyone would find it difficult,” then the other person will feel valued. “Let me know what I can do to help” is a proactive way to be empathetic. You can further by working with the other person - “Let’s work together to find a solution.” Always show respect by being positive. “Despite feeling bad, you’re coping well.”